By 2nd Lt. Joy Metzler

From Counterpunch | Original Article

Somewhere around the age of 20, I sat in a large auditorium at the United States Air Force Academy with a thousand other cadets and cheered at footage of real drone strikes on real people, laughing along with everyone else as we watched little, pixelated figures run for cover that we all knew was futile. When I look back on that event, I wonder what part of me I had to sacrifice to find humor in the loss of life.

In many ways, it’s thanks to the Air Force Academy that I currently have an anti-war stance. I was given the tools to examine my military service and foreign policy in a couple mundane, core classes: law and ethics, though my ethics course has stuck with me the most, ironically enough. I hated my ethics course because I thought most of it was redundant and self-explanatory: don’t do bad things! I couldn’t understand why people dedicated their lives to it.

Despite my best efforts, I learned a lot about the darker side of American history – we talked about the My Lai Massacre, the dropping of the atomic bombs, Ehren Watada and his refusal to deploy in an unjust war, drone warfare and the moral implications of being so far removed from the resultant violence. We learned to question the moral nature of military decisions.

This was quite a shock to someone like me, who had until then been so inundated with military stories of valor and bravery, but I wrote it off as best as I could, unwilling to put in the work of deconstructing a pro-military mindset that was six years in the making.

It wasn’t until 2024 that the pieces of the puzzle started coming together for me.

The active genocide in Gaza is in blatant disregard of international law and in violation of every rule surrounding civilian casualties in war, both concepts that were heavily covered during my academy schooling. I had tried to take a neutral stance, one that would allow me to continue justifying the US’ actions, but seeing in the news and talking to veterans and active duty members who had the courage to speak up gave me the push I needed to decide for myself that I wouldn’t stand by anymore.

I was horrified at the violence that was being endorsed and supported by our government in clear violation of what I had once thought was basic ethics. More than that, I realized that the U.S. decides who is worthy of life and who is to die, and by being part of the military, I have a hand in that. War is a terrible business, one that we’ve become desensitized to, and I don’t believe that we have to accept the inevitability of violence.

I encourage everyone currently serving to critically examine the nature of their service.

As an active duty service member, I have been told repeatedly that military strength is the only way to counteract the threats we face in the world. But once again, we see violence, this time perpetrated by the Israeli government, only leads to death and destruction in an ever-growing conflict. Hate begets hate.

2d Lt. Joy Metzler, USAF, is currently on active duty and has applied for conscientious objector status.